Hollllerrr

Hey! I havent writeen in here for a while! I wish I was tired, actually I just yawned, hahas but no I feel pretty much alive. It's so bad, like my body gets tired around 3-4AM and my body doesnt wake up til 12 PM... it's hard to cut that habit :[ CHRISTMAS IS IN 4 DAYS! And we have snow! Even though I dont really like it, it's pretty :] I have so many things to say so I'm just going to list them. Tehe

- I can't wait til my daddy opens his xmas present. Him, Tommy, and I went to BJ's today and we walked by it, and he was saying how when he goes to Canada again he's going to buy one. Me and Tommy were like tehehehehe snort snort.
- Im SO inpatiently anxious for my Fall09 grades, I check like 5 times a day. And I want to email and bother my professors about it, esp my mac.ec. I've never looked forward to seeing my grades. EVER.
- I want to work 24/7. They called me out today because of the snow. Which I'm okay about because I knew it was going to be dead. But today was my double so :[ I'd rather have a little something than nothing ya know?
- I have a list of things to do tomorrow like college stuff, find new jacket, return my UGGs :[, sell my books, phone bill BLEH.
- I'm in like (not obsessed...yet) with Sims3. Tommy got it, and I'm a computer hog! But he plays his CODMW2.. fair enough :] Like no BS When I borrowed Sims 1? I believe, from Jenn, (in 8th? grade) I would play all day, I rmemeber one day I didn't go to school because I wanted to build the house so bad. I like to build my dream houses. But I always make them too big, and they look boring on the outside too. Heh.
- I bought 3 pairs of pants. 2 jeans. 1 sweat. Im excited. I finally shopped.
- I'm buying boots for myself for christmas. No selfishness, I feel deserving of them kinda. Tehehehehehe.
- I'm trying really hard to make peace in my household, but stubborness, hard headedness runs in the family eh.
- I cannot wait til Christmas, not for the presents, cause there really isn't much that I open... like seriously, I hardly get wrapped presents during christmas, theyre all envelopes... but to go away! I'm going to the Cape for a couple of days with the fam and Tomalumlums. I know it's just the Cape, but we didn't go anywhere this summer, and summer wasn't the best this year, so the Cape should make up for some family bonding + swimming and relaxation.
- I'm nervous to go away for school. Sad, nervous, anxious, excited, and sad. and sad. and sad.

Yea, that sums up most of my life.
TTYL!
P&L al-ee-sun

One Month!

This one month will be the most happiest, stressful, tiring, exciting, nerveracking
Another huge stress following behind... I think I lost a friend. And it hurts. It's like denied, apology not accepted. But idk? Give it time? I dont like beef on Christmas :\ On a lighter note Christmas is coming! Slaybells ring are you listening! I'm SO EXCITED for this weekend, tommy and I are putting up the twee. tehe snort snort. We did it a week late HIGHLY upset, so i'll keep it up a week more after christmas MUHARHAR. Then on saturday we're gonna buy presents for everyone except each other cause others come before us in christmas. I cant wait til my daddy opens his present. Stokeness. I hope my mom likes hers :[

Then during those 3 weeks after christmas, is busting the butt, get the guap, and dipset. I'm so nervous! What if I dont like my roommate T_T I hope she's cool, and isnt dirty, and is nice, and weird like me muhaha, and down to earth, and out going, and not mean, and open, and doesnt touch my stuff without asking :o, trustworthy too please :]]

so much to think about so little time!
i read twilight
xoxo always alysoooooooooooooooon

2 years and going...

wowsah! it's been two years already! well actually I shouldnt say already lol, it went fast and slow, ups and downs, lefts and rights but we made it to two years :o today we went on a double anniversary date with jessica and tuan to a place in quincy called Terra Brasilis or something like that. Brazilian BBQ like midwest grille. ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT BUFFET. so manly like. for 10 dollars too which is cheap but holy shit, it costs 5.50 for a @!#!@%@$ shirley temple... I was like WTF when the bill came. other than that, it was a good time, then we went to walmart at 9pm. late yet really relaxing, its weird, right now we mesh with each other like two fitting puzzle pieces, right when we walked into walmart he said go pick out your magazine LOL. cause when we walk around walmart, CVS, supermarket etc. at the end when paying I always want to read the magazines, so now i just take one when I enter the story, and read it while he directs me through the store MU HAHA. <3

SO TIRED AND EXHAUSTED D; I just want to stop time and sleep. This is Tommy's birthday week as well and it's so stressful =\ tomorrow we have to run errands, buy much stuffs. Then work work work T_T FML! I love my new job, but it's freaking tiring.

Hey bloggy, do you hear that?
It's homework calling my name.
Fluck.
P&L
xoxoalways alysooooooooon<3

HIE :D

lololololoo sorry i slept ALOT today and i feel GOOD. and hyper =X Jason Derulo's "Whatcha Say" is on replay right now. At first I thought the song was dumb, but I like the beat, its like catchy. I'm SO AMPED tmr night, a bunch of friends and I are going to watch Paranormal Activity. Heard it was supposed to be scary and I'm getting nervous and scared just thinking about it. Right now I'm excited, but watch tmr night I'm going to be like O_O all night. Nervous!

Life is good. But I'm so exhausted. Alot of work, homework, schoolwork, school, then right after school, work, and I have to learn alot from work too =\ I've finally learned my wines! But not how they taste yet =\ I dyed my hair red cause it's autumn. =o

I might be a sailor or little red riding hood for halloween =o and i want to carve pumpkins! alright its getting late! Just a quick update. Tommy and I's two year is coming up =O and so is his birthday! =D IDK what to get him URGH! >.<"

GNITEY! lol sooo hyper
xoxoalways aly

exhausted x 5

have you ever been so exhausted you just want to collapse and cry? I feels. Last night Brandon, Mikey, Tommy and I drove down to Amherst. The drive wasnt that bad though. The campus is HUGE and idk if I get accepted, if I would like it. But then again I would probably just have to get used to it. This transfer process is stressing me OUT! I am so stupid. I wish I did it all in the summer, but noooo procrastination nation kicked in and I just pushed it off like always. I suck major. Anywyas first party was packed, so we didnt get in. The other party was alright. Didnt sleep til 5 am >.<"

Woke up at 11, went to the dining hall. Omg. I finally understand why freshmans gain 15 pounds dorming. I definately feels. So much food. Fat foods. It looks like a buffet. That's like eating out everyday. Omg. LOL. Drive home, omg so long. So tired. So sleepy!!!

Im so poor. T_T fml. I only have 2 shifts this week. I hope I bank muhney. So sad =[ And idk what to do or get tommy for 2 years and his birthday like wtfff!!! Life ish no guhd. =[ My mom needs to find a job darnit!

p&l
xoxoalwyas al

Hellooooooo!

Hi. I've been slacking on this bloggery :[ sorry. Life is good. Let's see....

Summer passed by fast, well August did. School is alright. I like my classes though. Lol Monday I skipped class to go to the BBQ and Tommy got mad -_-". I have 2 classes without any homework legit. I don't think I'm gonna buy the books for them either or for at least right now. On ratemyprofessor.com all reviews say they do everything off slideshow so I hope theyre not lying to me =\. I feel like after I get this transfer stuff out of the way I'll be good. Other than that, I'm going to procrastinate my way. Damn me. I'm hungry.

Money is tight. Cannot take this parking pass thing, drives me insane. Really 325?!?!?! And I'm not guaranteed a parking spot >=[ Business is alright. But that parking pass made me feel poor T_T but I bought my juicy bag mu har har har har!!! I want sweat pants. I have so many wants I feel so selfish. But I cant spend. Mst save. I didnt even donate my clothese like I said I would or vacuum under my bed >.<" Bleh. Family is the same. I miss hanging out with my little cousins!! I went to hang with them one weekend and we played rockband alot mu har har. Then the next weekend Tommy and I took them shopping. Tommy and I have been really good. Too good o_O!!! <3>=] Our two year is coming up =o so is his bday double =o We went to Tina jeh jeh's wedding together. He danced with her mom, then danced with her. OMG i HATE when he does his weird awkward dance. Makes me want to die on the dance floor T_T

My monday night dilemma... Gossip Girl at 9pm, J&K+8 at 9pm, Big Bang Theory at 9:30pm TIGHT TO THE TENTH EXTREME >=[ Go pats! I want a new jersey >=[ I want a Randy Moss one =D mu har har. I also want a watch so I can tell time on my wrist. 2 pairs of Uggs. and the wave. Selfish =\ I got a hello kitty pez :D okay im tired and my stomach is roaring at 10 times per minute =\

I REALLLLLLY wannna see that meatball movie. yea. REAL bad.

nitey!
P&L
xoxo alwaysal

Blah

It's the same.

So tired.

I have feelings too. I'm not tryna be 'buggin`' but when people care, they ask questions.

Tired of getting mad at for no reason or the smallest things possible.
Tired of waking up sad.
Tired of being upset.
Tired of giving everything.
Tired of feeling like dirt. Insignificant.
Tired of feeling sick. You're gonna be there right? Forget it. Ill do it myself.
Tired of hearing "he doesnt deserve you"
Tired of being hurt.
Tired of constantly beating myself up
Tired of blaming myself for everything
Tired of trying to find and fix my faults.
Tired of feeling this way.

"But you disappeared on me
And your heart, your heart went missin'
I don't know how to find it
I don't know where it is
I don't know where your heart went
It was here just the other day
Now it's gone
I'm gonna call the police
Call the investigator, the heart investigator" --Rooney

P&L
xoxoalways al

Summer09

summer 09 is not cutting it. the weather is poop. alysons just not happy anymore. I'm really upset that I dont think my family is going away anymore. I really needed that trip. Badly. but i cannot be selfish. this summer stinks. nothing went my way...nothing.

peace&love
xoxoalways al

Blah

It hurts. It hurts alot. I'm frail. I suck. I feel like a bad person. Wo xin hao tong ah. I'm exxhausted. Goodnight.

Peace&Love
xoxoalways al

RIP Michael Jackson

Yea I know he died like a week and a half ago, but still... damn. Like right now, that's the only word that comes to mind is damn. I watched most of his memorial service today, and was quietly sad, until Paris spoke. Yup, completely bawled. Just broke down and cried. Sad day. Although I was never like crazily into him, his music is something else. I remmeber as a little kid watching his concerts on TV like COOL! I pray for his family, especially his children.

On a lighter and brighter note... I've been doing lots of thinking lately, maybe too much. It's 3 AM, all i feel is poor and hungry. Lol. I really want to go shopping. Darn it. I'm thinking about applying for another waitressing job. FML!

Peace&Love
xoxo always al

Summer is... Apparently late...

Yesterday I watched The Hangover. It was funny. like LOL funny. So anyways, Tommy and i were talking about that movie 2012 it's about some prediction that the world is going to end then. Looking at this weather and it's July, the world is sooo coming to an end -.- watch, in September, it's going to be like 90 degrees. I had school today. ONE more class!! Knock on wood but this class is a BREEZE the hardest thing is to wake up for class. Lol seriously.

Tommy and I's summer to go/do list...

1. 6flags
2. water country
3. camping?!
4. hooters
5. rainforest cafe
6. acalpoccos
7. captain fishermans
8. eagles deli
9. Hibachi house

and more to come!

My family and I had bonding time today. It all started with a bootleg Q-tip my mom bought from OSJ, or somewhere along those lines. The cotton fell off the stick!!! This was the second time in 2 days! And this time the cotton was stuck deep deep down. So we all laughed and watched my mom and I try to pick it out with these metal picker things my mom used to use on Edan and I when we were little kids. After 10 minutes, I finally got it out =D. Then my dad came into my room and we talked for like half an hour about life...and Michael Jackson LOL. But I vented to him. Damn, sometimes people piss me off. It's like stfu cry, build a short bridge, and get over it. And Michael Jackson was cool. I wish I could go to his concert. =[

Anywhoo I'm hungry after making that list! Birthday is in a month... 19... The big one nine. Can't take this old feeling!!! Hungry hungry. BBQ Saturday. Yummy in my tummy. I'm making the dirt dessert. Chocolate pudding with Oreo crumbs and gummy worms. Keeping it simple and not expensive T-T I feel SO poor. And I want to shop. I haven't shopped in such a long time. Must save to shop! I've been eyeballing this purple shirt from ae for the past 2 months. It's still not on sale and I really want it. I also am going to donate clothes.. Lots of it in like 2 weeks or so, can't wait! That gives me a reason to go shoppng =x alright I'm to bed! Nitey!

peace&love
xoxo always al

Exhausted.

I took a day off from school for a personal day, plus I can sleep in. I only have 5 more classes since next Thursday's class is cancelled. Thank God! Life's been alright lately. I'm so tired. So Tommy introduced me to a new TV show called "The Big Bang Theory" it's like geeky stuff but SO funny. har har. I need to save money. Coupons FTW! I'm feeling selfish right now, so I'm going to make a list of things I want tehe!

-Classic Cardy Uggs in either grey or black
-Short Kids Classic Uggs in either grey or black (which ever color I don't get in Cardy's)
-Ipod touch or Ipod nano. idk debating. =\
-mini makeup bag... my clear one like fell apart T_T need ASAP!
-sell back my books! ASAP!

getting distracted.
ttyl
peace&love

Smile, it's a new day.

I'm tired. So Edan's birthday is tomorrow. I'm going to buy him some deodorant lol cause he claims it's the only thing he wants. Sometimes I want to punch him in the head for being so wise! Grr! So I've decided to give up swearing. =X I've realized that I sometimes have no self control, and that my opinions come off strong sometimes lol. Jenn and Hai helped me a great deal today. Thanks yall<3. My federal taxes came in! Woo hoo! I want to chip in half for a TV for my dad. =\ I wish I had a better paying job! So I looked at Amherst's application again. Still contemplating. I've made a decision to apply, just waiting for my grades to get in! I'm nervous, I feel like that philosophy paper did not do the job! I'm hoping for a B in that class =X

I'm waiting for these weeks to soar by. I'm wanting summer to go by fast too, I dont know, I'm not in the "Alyson" mood right now. Feeling a little upset. Upset is my new night time feeling. I should really start on my Stanley project. No motivation to do it though. I'm going to sleep in tomorrow, life goes by faster that way. Then I get to go to work, yay! Work is like my new escape from reality, it makes me happier when I'm there. Surprisingly, cause I hated my job like 3 weeks ago. Bleh. I think I might buy a wii. Yea, I'm going to talk to my dad about that. He's been very supportive lately. Idk. I wish I could be home alone. I lost 6 lbs. Funny thing is, I dont know where. Haha. I need to remmeber to take my medicine. My eyeballs started hurting again, and my hands have been shaking. Blech. But then the one time I ate today, I feel like i stuffed myself o_o. So I probably gained back a pound. I learned to curl my hair in like 10 minutes. Woo hoo!

I want to go back to Arizona. I wonder what my cousins are doing this summer.
Maybe today will be a better day.

Peace&Love

Happy Mother's Day

I havent been keeping up with this blog lately. =[[ Sorry blog. Three days of classes left, and yet, no motivation. Four papers due within a week, 2 within 3 days and yet no motivation. I've lost close to all my appetite, thank god I had work today so food could revolve around me, but I shared a kids meal instead. I got my hair did. I really like it. I wish it could be a tad lighter, but I like it alot. I start my drawing class in two weeks. Not excited yet. I just want to draw a big black hole and dive into it. I have work tomorrow, Im going to miss GossipGirl. I also have a paper to almost completely redo. Then I hvae to wake up around 6am on Tuesday. I planned starting and close to finishing it today, but I was finishing Edans invitations. Oh well, I'll rewrite it during philosophy class tomorrow.

On a lighter note... Happy Mother's Day! I wish I couldve gotten my mother that crystal cow! But my dad said its ugly T_T so we bought her a wireless mouse instead. She wasnt happy. Shes never happy. My dad says she needs more fun in her life. I wish we got along. Because if we did, I could make her laugh everyday like I make my dad laugh. But I finished making Edan's invitations today. So happy, I'm finally done! Everyone of them carefully glued, cut, written with love. I also ordered his present (sshh!) I hope he likes it. I cant wait to redo my closet. My mom says daddys going to make new shelves for my shoes! That means closet space! Which also means shopping so I can fill that space! Still waiting for my tax returns. I want to buy my dad a TV really bad. Should I get a credit card? I also want things for myself, but oh well.

It's going to be nice all week. I hope I have time to go out. When people draws me pictures, it makes me happy. I've been very forgetting lately. Ive also felt empty minded and confused. The cooks from work got angry with me today because I forgot to say hi when I walked past them. Im usually a over energized little girl around them that make them coffee and strawberry lemonade slushies hahas. But the nice one really scared me when he attacked me for not saying hi. It made me sad inside. Hahaha Hai just cheered me up with a random text "Im watching tv and i see something hovering from the wall! I thought it was a spider but then it flies very slowly AHH!" LOOOL. Ive been waking up really early lately. And I wake up like 10 times during the night. Funky. Go celtics.

Sorry this entry seemed boring random and annoying, I just wanted to update it, I tried being upbeat, but I guess Im tired or something. Hmm I promise next entry will be more exciting :D like that spider monkey Hai saw hahahs. Hope everyone is smooth sailing in life with happiness.

Alright gootnight
Peace&Love

Sigh

Everyone is sad, or mad, or upset, or tension filled.

So since my mind has been going blank everytime I wish on 11:11 and I don't make a wish lol I wish that all my friends can be happy and have smooth sailing in life.

The End.

Peace&Love

Beware: Alyson is mad at the world.

First off, I want to give my prayers to the family in Milton especially the parents, and the girl. What a horrible horrible tragedy. How can people be so gross and heartless. Also to the families in Dorchester who've lost someone. Why can't there be love in this world?! May God give you strength.<3

>.<" I had a bad day. Actually I'm probably cranky. And I'm annoyed too! sakjdhaskdgaksjd!!!! Anyways stayed up til 3 or 4 doing my philosophy paper. I have to stop my procrastination. ASAP please. Tried hard to stay awake in my classes. On the other hand, I've been passing in everything on its due date, and Ive been working hard in school, hopefully it will show.

So I went to the dentist. My lord, I swear she doesnt like me. She omg like ripped my teeth apart with that sharp ass tool. I was so pissed off when she was doing it. I even teared. I also tasted blood an hour after I left. She said I need to floss more. However, supposidely Edans teeth are tight togther or something, and he flosses way less than I do, but the lady went easy on him? I wanted to strangle her. I swear when I walked out of the office, I looked like I had just massacred a cow with my teeth. Pissed as hell.

My family drives me insane. Some things we argue about is like a waste of breath. I'm like we're really going to make a big deal out of this? Then my mom takes her bucket of nags, screams and complains and dumps it all over my dad and I. Drives me @#!$!@$!@ nuts. Sometimes I just want to run away and never come back.

I can't wait til this weekend. I feel as if I'm going to be way more stress free than the last weekend. Tommy and I are going to try hot pot o_O =Q japanese style on Friday! Kinda excited we get to go on a date without schoolwork running through my mind. This weekend should be good =D Oh yea I need to upload pictures from Arizona and our hiking trip. I miss my Uncle Greg and his family so much =[[ makes me want to cry. T_T Why can't they live near us!!!

Go me.
Peace&Love

"I'm Sorry."

Sorry; adj; regretful: feeling or expressing regret or sorrow or a sense of loss over something done or undone;

It feels as if there is no more meaning for sorry these days. Sometimes people say it to 'just get it over with.' To quickly justify the unjustified. I mean, if I bump into someone, yea 'sorry' would be appropriate, but when something a little more serious goes wrong, is it always appropriate? When one has done wrong, is it okay for them to simply say 'I'm sorry.' and its forgiven and forgotten about? Is that justified? Is it okay for one to just say sorry but not feel nor show with effort, the regret they feel towards who or what they've wronged?

I'm gonna go cool down. But is it right?

Peace&Love

Stressed.

cough. cough. sniffle. sniffle. look what taking care of tommy gets me into. i better get that princess treatment because my throat is burning at 150ºF per hour. On a not lighter note... I have a philosophy paper due Friday when I havent even heard anything in that class about philosophy, a math test Friday, an English paper due Monday, and a seminar paper due Tuesday. OMGGGGG!!! I feel like poo... a big poo, on a stick. Stress to the max! I must prevail!

Definately watched my drama last night. Definately bawled to it. Definately going to bawl to it again when Tommy and I reach that part. Oh man. I burnt my tongue yesterday. It's killing. I also walked into a doorknob this morning. I also was too lazy to take off my shoes so I could run upstairs to get my gloves. So I crawled upstairs. My knees hurt now. I am hungry. I am stressed out! I am sick. Gross they all don't go together.

Doot. Waiting for class to get out. I said the F word to my parents the other day. I kinda feel bad. Like I swollowed a dynamite and exploded on them. Then my mom bought me a clothes hanger thing on the wall which I've always wanted. n_n

2.5 weeks til spring break. Oh if it could only come faster!!!! Might update on this later. Cant really think. =x

*edit* oh i remember what I wanted to talk about. Lack of motivation. So I was talking to a couple of people about school. This semester I just have no motivation to go to school. Last semester I didnt want to either, but it wasnt as much of a drag. It feels like I'm dragging myself plus a huge piece of lard with me just to get to school. AND I'm not even in the first month of school yet. Unbeleieveable. Very ashamed of myself. I probably skipped 3 times already. UGH! I have no idea what I can do to get me to go! Suggestions?

Happy Mardi Gras
Peace&Love

In class

thou thou thou thou thou... lol I thought that word would be appropriate with the temporary template I'm using for this page. I'm in class right now, waiting for class to be over!

I wonder how to write in a different language...

After class I'm going to Chinatown with Videogamesss again -_-" but we're going on a lunch date n_n I went to Chinatown yesterday to fail my attempt to get my dvds with english subtitles so hopefully my mom's friend who is currently in China can pretty please get them for me. I wish I could read/understand mandrin T_T

This week is definately going to be a long week. Because it is February vacation for highschool etc., it is school work school work school work for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. T_T ah my life! So somewhere in there, I have to fit in homework, reading, eating, and sleeping.

On the contrare... Happy Tuesday!

Peace&Love

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day!

Everyone is hating on this day, which I agree is silly for having one specific day for love. But Valentines day is pretty cute...Everyday should be Valentines day! :D

Finished my drama in 3 DAYS! it was that good.
Mysoju - Devil Beside Me... And soon to watch something else... maybe why why love...
Mike He<33333



I swear sometimes I live in a fantasy world...

Well, hope you had a good v'day! :]

Peace&Love

frustrated.

I'm on edge. I just don't know what to do anymore. So many things running through my head making me so blank-minded, so confused. I feel as if I don't have control over anything. It's like this constant strive for perfection I have, I just keep pushing, but now, I only have one last teardrop of hope. Part of me is telling me let go, and part of me wants to keep pushing. So what do I do now? I've been pushing for so long, I'm tired, but letting go will kill me. Ugh, what an ugly predicament. So it's a lose lose situation. It always will be.

Contemplating with my eyelids closed.

Goodnight,
Peace & Love